Ramblings of a Madman
by The Grand Praetorian
Summary: A collection of Miscellaneous and cryptic pieces of literature by the Grand Praetorian, that doesnt fit anywhere else.
1. Chapter 1

p style="text-align: center;"emWhat is the price of forgiveness? Does such a thing have any value within our comprehension? Perhaps not. /embr /emWhat must one give up for forgiveness? Their time? Their apology? Themselves? All in the eyes of the wronged, only they can put a price on forgiveness. /embr /emFor now, The damned shall wait. The sand has waited for millennia, it can wait a little while longer. The only question is, strongAm I waiting for something that will never come?/strong/em/p 


	2. Psyche Profile Recording 1

_**AGENTS OF CHANGE PRIVATE MILITARY ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION CHANNEL  
#20092136-3:06-P  
**__For the eyes of :  
__**Grand Praetorian General **_**_█████ "The Grand Praetorian" ██████_**_**  
Doctor P. Samuel Evans  
And other assigned AOC Psyche recovery team units.**_

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_**UNAUTHORIZED VIEWING OF THESE DOCUMENTS WILL RESULT IN SEVERE PROSECUTION AND POTENTIAL DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE FROM THE AOC PRIVATE MILITARY.  
IF FOUND, RETURN TO D-WING, 2ND FLOOR ROOM 2 OF FOB ARCHANGEL**_

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_"Come in, Sir, Please, Sit down."_

_"__**Thank you Doctor. I wanted to talk to you. A lot has happened since our last visit."**_

_"Yes. I am indeed aware. Despite your extremely callous outer shell, and near uncrackable mental state, I am very pleased that you admit that you are in need of psychiatric help. It shows that you are indeed human."_

_"__**Me? Human...? Heh... Uh... Not quite...  
**_**_Oh, Um, Is anyone... aware of my identity?_**_"_

_"No sir. As far as we know, Only Mister Rene is aware of this. According to our records, Agent Texas, You are familiar with them, You have attempted to enlighten them with such details, but they have not be able to access your transmission."_

_"__**Good, Good... Uhm, Agent Texas was actually what I was here to speak about. I... We... **__**um...**__"_

_"I understand that you had a Falling out with Miss R.?"_

_"__**Yes...**__"_

_"Tell me about it."_

_"__**Oh man... Where to start... Me and Texas... I said things. And I did the wrong things at the wrong time. Now they wont talk to me. I had... Such plans for them. Bigger than anything I had done with anyone in all my time here. I just... I...  
**__**I don't know! For the first time in what seems like forever, I don't have a plan. I don't know what to do. And that scares me...**"_

_"I see. I think... that your fear, stems from your subconscious realization that you re perhaps not in control."_

_"**Maybe...**"_

_"So, General, Tell me how you feel currently. About this whole situation, I mean. Perhaps how **You **Feel."_

_"**Fuck, I... I don't know. I'm frustrated. But not at them, ****necessarily, I don't even know if it's at myself... I-I... I guess it's at everything. I see all they had, and all I had. I thought this universe had limitless potential. But theirs... I had never seen or felt anything like it. I saw what it COULD have been. What I could have given them. I was prepared to give them my all, and all of me. But they threw it away. All because of my mistakes. Such potential wasted.**_

_**You know that uhm, Naji? That darkfurred Shaman from the eastern Tribes? I think it was eastern... I don't have his file anymore... **  
**He was killed off because of me. And there is nothing I could do about it. Texas themselves erased that beautiful creature from existence because I pushed them too hard. I pursued them too far. It's all my fault and I know it. It is a shame that I will carry to my dying breath. Not like they care.**"_

_"Yes, I remember them. You did indeed seem to have some kind of emotional connection with them..."_

_"**Emotional connection? Heh, That's an understatement... I... I loved that little creature like a son... I did all of them... Maybe Texas didn't see that, But even if they did, they would have resented me for it. I just don't understand. Yes, I fully understand that I had messed up... And I apologized for it. But they didn't want to hear a word of it.**"_

_"I think you understand why."_

_"**Well... Yeah, I do. I know that they have been hurt by someone like me. I don't know exactly what... **_  
_**But I must have been bad. I don't blame them. They are just emotionally protecting themselves.**"_

_"Like you do with some people?"_

_"**Like I do with some people...**"_

_"Perhaps you should try and let go of that emotional connection with them, and the connection with the others will follow suit..."_

_"**I don't know if I want to. I keep holding on to the hope that maybe one day, they'll forgive me. Like they have before. I never meant to hurt them...**_

_**Maybe I'll try and contact them again...**"_

_"__With all due respect...__I would advise against that, Sir."_

_"**I know what you advise. I... I'm not just going to lay down and forget all I was prepared to give.  
I can't just cut ties with them. Sure it has been worn down significantly, but a person that has cut that deep into you, They're with you forever.**"_

_"Of course... Well, I'd like you to think over what I said. After all, you can't let go of something unless you want to.  
Perhaps we can talk about it when you next visit, after you have thought about it."_

_"**Of course... Thank you doctor. I appreciate having someone to talk to.**"_

_"No problem, Sir. Do stay safe..."_

_"**I will.**"_

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**END ****TRANSMISSION**


	3. Searching for what has been lost

p style="margin: 0px 0px 6px; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;"emI am searching for something that has been lost./embr /emI may never find it./embr /emIt tries its best to avoid me, But by doing so, it only draws me closer./embr /emThe sands call out, O Come, Disciple of Death,/embr /emWhat you seek is class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"br /But I cannot call./span/em/p  
div class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;"  
p style="margin: 0px 0px 6px; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"emMy voice is taken/embr /emMy heart is taken/embr /emMy mind is lost,/embr /emAll is lost./em/p  
p style="margin: 6px 0px; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"emI must wait till my presence no longer toxifies./embr /emBut by then, I may be forgotten./embr /emI may be lost to that I seek,/embr /emBut I never left./em/p  
/div 


	4. Lombax Poems

There once was a Lombax of sand.

I asked to take him by the hand.

To show a world I had built,

Now I feel guilt,

For him, I had great things planned.

There once was a Lombaxess of action.

She had quite an odd attraction.

She had eyes of lavender.

And guards a great Excalibur,

She would have been a daughter of my faction.

There once was a Lombax of dark.

For him, I had a part.

He would feel pain,

But in the end he would gain,

The trust in a general's heart.

There once was a Lombax of white.

He never put up much of a fight.

Although he was naive,

For his soul I will grieve,

The great return would have been his right.

There once was a Lombax called Seven.

He was saved from his Armageddon.

Although we never met,

This I will bet,

His soul will rise to the heavens.

Your heart must be made of steel.

This has been quite an ordeal.

With your characters and time,

I cant find mine,

My heart you have seemed to steal.

My happiness is black,

You took to it like an Axe,

One day I hope you'll return,

and heal my burns,

Hopefully one day, have you back.

So here, I shall wait,

Shelter from your hate,

Burned down by passion,

All smouldered and ashen.

and wait to be born anew.


End file.
